My subconscious generated a fine little dream last night, and that’s what I’m going to talk about today:
There was me, my brother and one of my best friends sitting in a room with Marlon Brando playing a synthesizer. Not a generic synth, but one of the best digital synths Roland made during the 90’s, a JD800: a slightly underrated machine maybe, but really deep and complex, capable of producing great sounds while requiring great patience and some knowledge about synthesis. A toy for grown ups, certainly.
The three of us were listening to Marlon creating sounds and asking him questions about his setup: it turned out he had a sequencer, a Yamaha RM1x which he modified to be fitted in a rack, and that reminded me of all the effort made to fit that ugly little green sequencer into my setup. I told him it was a good idea, and that it was really fun to use, he agreed, but he didn’t seem he used it as much as he would have liked to.
Marlon Brando, who wore a black track suit seemed to feel at ease with us, legs crossed, sitting in a lotus like position: didn’t look like in “Apocalypse Now” or in the “Godfather”, much more like “Last Tango in Paris” but fatter, bulkier and slightly older. A solid presence rooted deeply in the ground, characteristics of a well-developed and functioning first chakra, an archetypal male figure.
Here my subconscious is clearly reclaiming my masculine side, in addition to this it gives me the impression that the three of us have one thing in common: a somehow absent father figure (obviously me and my brother for the same reasons, while my friend for others).
Today (what a coincidence!), is my father birthday and I’m happy I’ll spend time with him, and I’ll be present and celebrate this day, keeping in mind that being a father is not that easy and that I already forgave him a long ago for his shortcomings. It wasn’t entirely his fault anyway.
Last but not least this is a good sign for my friend who’s going to be a father soon: this is my subconscious’ way to wish him all the best in this new journey he’s going to take with his partner and the baby boy. Love to the three of them, but, and I hope the soon to be mom won’t mind, today’s post is mainly meant for us: men, fathers and sons, because sometimes is much harder than it seems to be who we are, to accept, love and understand each other as well as ourselves.